Let’s face it, a legendary 4th of July party can be hard to come by. We’ve all sat through our parent’s barbecues, ended up at beach parties that get shut down by the police, or pass out drunk in the sun only to wake up burnt to a e crisp. So, for those in search of an epic Fourth of July celebration this year, we have 3 mind-blowing party headlines that you could only wish to attend.
1.) Inside sources have released statements of a secret Malibu beach house party thrown by Laird Hamilton and Kanye West. The unlikely duo apparently met at a charity event called “The Living Gods”. The two have created an encoded scavenger hunt for the public in order to secure a spot on the exclusive guest list. First, all applicants must search through the entire catalogue of Kanye West’s music. Then, they must watch all of Laird’s interviews and search for a recurring theme. The hidden themes and clues will guide the applicants to a massive, yet secluded yacht, where the festivities will be held. Sources also indicated that a shark tank will be present in the middle of the party, where guests will have the opportunity to test their own Godliness amongst the deathly fish by paddling around the tank on a surfboard that was soaked in raw meat.
2.) For those in search of a more relaxed vibe, Western Australia’s own, Craig Anderson is linking up with Julia-Louis Dreyfus of Veep and Seinfeld, to have a yoga party on the cliffs of Newport beach. Not very much information has been released about the event yet but apparently, anyone can attend, as long as they bring a rescue animal, a foam-top surfboard and their own yoga mat.
3.) The annual 4th of July Oil Rig Paddle Out in Ventura is still going strong in its third year. This year however, instead of its usual host Dane Reynolds, the event will be co-hosted by Clint Dempsey and 2-Chainz. The hosts will meet all attendees at C-Street in Ventura around noon, where they will lead the paddle out to the nearest oil rig. Once upon the rig, guests will be required to “Turn-Up”. Those unwilling to do so will be consequently pie-d in the face by Lil’ Jon and taken back to shore via kayak. It costs $15 to compete in this event along with board rentals. Use passcode “Surf Channel” for a 20% discount.
*DISCLAIMER: None of these events are real. Please enjoy your Fourth of July in the safest way possible!